Let Me Acosta You! Trump Isn’t A Sex Pest … It’s ALL CNN GroßAmerikkkan Reichstag, Washington, DC – The left has been falsely accusing president Trump of sexual misconduct ever since he announced his candidacy for office. Aided by Al Qaeda double agent and former president Saddama Obama, liberals have paid false witnesses to bring […]
Well I’ll Be … Body Slammed Pussy grabbing, dehumanizing and now body slamming. Yes, in the latest social directive to come out of the nation’s decaying capital, the president appeared to defend congressman Greg Gianforte of Montana who physically assaulted a British journalist in May 2017. Pontificating at a MAGA rally in Big Sky Country at […]
Kanye West: Voice of Reason Forget the sage observations of the Dali Lama and the resolute reassurances of free world leader Angela Merkel. To hell with anything said by Voltaire, bugger Aristotle and put a sock in Buffy Sainte-Marie’s pie hole, for their prattling is mere jibber-jabber and a malicious distraction from the prophetic gift […]
I Don’t Wanna Play In the biggest shocker of the year, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani ruled out a meeting with president Donald Trump when the two world leaders attended the recent United Nations General Assembly session in New York. Citing irreconcilable differences, Mr. Rouhani explained “Mr. Trump is a Cincinnati Bengals fan, whereas I support […]
Take a Nike, Kaepernick Since the cloudy dawn of humanity, snot-nosed children have been stomping their feet and smashing their toys when petulance gets the better of them. And since the rainswept twilight of humanity, exasperated parents have been tearing out their hair as the little feckers run amok, refusing to listen to reason or […]
Washingclown D.C. – As our distraught nation comes to terms with the president canceling his eagerly anticipated military parade, the White House has released an update on how they plan to spend the $92 million that might otherwise have been wasted on frivolities like education and infrastructure. “Mr. Trump understands that the nation wants to […]
Why Iran Won’t Run As the Twitter war of words against Iran continues to smolder in Washington, things in Tehran are a lot cooler. Unlike the propaganda-driven tit-for-tat we’ve come to expect from North Korea, The Islamic Republic has calmly, but sternly, warned the United States to dial back the rhetoric, arguably from a position […]
Heaven and Hell-sinki It always struck me as bizarre that the Republican party chose to be represented by the color red. On the one hand, there have been generations of wrinkly old men in crimson neckties extolling ‘real’ American values, while on the other, there have been successive conservative lobbies propagating the notion that our […]
The Same Old Cavalry Let me present you with two scenarios concerning land rights, and then you can let us know which you decide has more merit. In the first, the protagonists are ranchers who commit arson and force a 41-day standoff on a national wildlife refuge because they refuse to acknowledge the refuge’s right to […]
City Upon a Hill: The Theatrics Behind America’s Cover (Up) Story Exactly 10 years ago, former president Barack Obama stood before the nation and remarked, “If we think that we can secure our country by just talking tough … we will misunderstand this moment and miss its opportunities.” Around the same time, Mr. Obama also reflected […]