Category: Breaking News

Rapidly breaking news, usually short takes.

  • SNAP Benefits Must Be Paid, PVD Federal Court Rules: Contingency funds must be used despite government objections

    SNAP Benefits Must Be Paid, PVD Federal Court Rules: Contingency funds must be used despite government objections

    Michael Bilow of Motif attended the 1:00pm court hearing and is reporting based on his personal observations.

    In a case with national significance and effect, Judge John J. McConnell Jr of the US District Court in Providence today granted a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) requiring the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) to make Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) (formerly “food stamp”) payments due Nov 1 to about 42 million recipients. Citing the failure of Congress to pass financial authorization for the fiscal year beginning Oct 1, 2025, the government issued notices on Oct 24 that SNAP payments would be interrupted due to insufficient funds.

    The expected halt in SNAP payments set off widespread panic among state and local governments, as well as non-profit organizations such as community food banks and churches who would have to take up the slack to feed people. RI Governor Daniel McKee declared a state of emergency and, with the RI Foundation, committed millions of dollars to address the problem.

    A similar case brought by 25 states and the District of Columbia in the US District Court for Massachusetts emerged from a hearing at 11:00am with the motion for emergency relief remaining under advisement without resolution.

    Judge McConnell found in favor of the plaintiffs on both prongs of their case. First, they argued that the law commanded the payment of SNAP benefits as an entitlement and the refusal to use available contingency funds was arbitrary and capricious. For example, holding the congressionally-authorized “emergency reserve” for a possible future emergency such as hurricane relief did not justify failing to use it for an actual present emergency such as the failure of Congress to authorize funding specifically. Second, they argued that although the “One Big Beautiful Bill Act” (HR. 1) passed by Congress in a sharply partisan division prohibited new waivers for work requirements in high-unemployment areas, it did not authorize the early cancellation of previously granted waivers.

    The judge addressed the requirements needed to grant equitable relief to the plaintiffs: likelihood of success of the case on the merits and risk of irreparable harm.

    “On the issue of likelihood of success. It is very clear to the Court, having put the issue through a very high standard, that the October 24 letter ordering the stop of SNAP funds violates the Administrative Procedure Act, both in terms of it being contrary to law as well as it being arbitrary and capricious,” Judge McConnell said, ruling from the bench. “SNAP is, to use a colloquial term, an ‘entitlement’ where those benefits are guaranteed. Obviously, to the extent there are appropriated funds, there is no doubt that the $6 billion approximately contingency funds are appropriated funds that are without a doubt necessary to carry out the program’s operation.… There could be no greater necessity than the prohibition across the board of funds for the program’s operations. In addition, SNAP benefits have never, until now, been terminated, and the United States has, in fact, admitted that the contingency funds are appropriately used during a shutdown, and that occurred in 2019.”

    “There is no doubt, and it is beyond argument, that irreparable harm will begin to occur, if it hasn’t already occurred, in the terror it has caused some people about the availability of funding for food for their family,” Judge McConnell said, ruling from the bench. “It’s clear that, when compared to the millions of people that will go without funds for food, versus the agency’s desire not to use contingency funds in case there’s a hurricane need, the balances of those equities clearly goes on the side of ensuring that people are fed.”

    The judge was even more scathing in criticizing the government cancellation of work waivers. “The failure to honor existing waivers is contrary to law. The waivers have been granted. They’re time limited. The time in many of them has not yet expired. The HR. 1 bill that was passed does not give the agency authority to retroactively apply new waiver requirements, it does not give the agency the power to take back existing and relied upon waivers that have been given to certain states. That certainly is arbitrary and capricious, because there is no logical or rational reason why that was done, and it’s particularly egregious, as the Court has pointed out in the past, when you consider the reliance on it, the balance of the equities again balance out and the public interest to requiring that waivers that have been granted be honored for their duration,” Judge McConnell said from the bench.

    The lawsuit before Judge McConnell in Providence (Rhode Island State Council of Churches v. Rollins) was brought by RI non-profits the State Council of Churches; the United Way of Rhode Island; Amos House in Providence; the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center in Newport; the East Bay Community Action Program (EBCAP); Federal Hill House; The Milagros Project in Woonsocket; and the RI cities of Providence, Pawtucket, and Central Falls. National co-plaintiffs are the National Council of Nonprofits; Service Employees International Union (SEIU) AFL-CIO; Main Street Alliance; and the New York Legal Assistance Group (NYLAG). Additional plaintiffs include the cities of Albuquerque, New Mexico; Baltimore, Maryland; Columbus, Ohio; Durham, North Carolina; and New Haven, Connecticut.

     

  • SNAP (Food Stamps) Emergency: RI announces support during federal shutdown

    SNAP (Food Stamps) Emergency: RI announces support during federal shutdown

    RI SNAP support poster (Source: https://dhs.ri.gov/programs-and-services/supplemental-nutrition-assistance-program-snap/supplemental-nutrition-hold )

    The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), commonly known by its old name, “food stamps,” is funded primarily by the federal government but run by state governments. The money ordinarily placed on Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) cards on the first day of every month is expected not to be available on Nov 1 due to the shutdown of the federal government.

    RI Governor Daniel McKee declared a state of emergency in Executive Order 25-02, directing all components of state government to co-ordinate efforts to get food to people who need it, including prohibiting price gouging. McKee is directing immediate payment of $6 million through Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF), which uses the same EBT cards as SNAP, to qualifying families with children, assisting 20,000 families comprising 65,000 individuals. He is also providing $200,000 to the RI Community Food Bank, which gives free food to those in need. The RI Foundation is disbursing $1 million, of which $200,000 goes to the Rhode Island Community Food Bank directly and $800,000 to its local non-profit partners. The RI AFL-CIO trade labor union consortium announced a donation of $10,000.

    The state government created a special web page to keep the public informed during the emergency: SNAPsupport.ri.gov. United Way of RI operates its telephone help center 24×7, 365 days of the year, supporting more than 200 languages, reachable by dialing 2-1-1. United Way is also enhancing accessibility for in-person consultations at its 50 Valley Street headquarters in Providence.

    The RI Community Food Bank posted a list of resources on Facebook – facebook.com/100064778588074/posts/1254541556715119 – and created a web page for those looking to help – rifoodbank.org/shutdown – through volunteering or donating. The City of Providence – providenceri.gov/food – also created a dedicated page. A searchable list of food pantries can be found at rifoodbank.org/find-food.

    About 145,000 residents of RI, 13% of the population, receive $29 million from SNAP monthly, with an average benefit of $199 per month, and in almost all cases this makes the difference in rescuing them from food insecurity. According to the non-partisan Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, SNAP recipients in RI are in families with children 49% of the time, with elderly or disabled members 46% of the time, and in families with working members 32% of the time. Of SNAP recipients in RI, 25% have income below 50% of the poverty line, 46% have income between 51% and 100% of the poverty line, and only 29% have income above 100% of the poverty line; without SNAP, 20,000 recipients, including 6,000 children, would otherwise fall beyond food insecurity into actual poverty. SNAP usage nationally doubled from about 20 million people to over 40 million following the 2007 – 2009 Great Recession.

    The federal government shutdown results from partisan political disputes that prevented Congress from passing legislation authorizing expenditures for the fiscal year that began on Oct 1, 2025. This resulted in a furlough of up to 900,000 federal employees deemed “non-essential.” About half are civilian defense employees, while many others who are deemed “essential,” such as air traffic controllers and weather forecasters, are required to continue working without pay. It is estimated that each week of shutdown causes 0.1 – 0.2 percentage points in decline of GDP growth.

    This is the 11th shutdown of the modern era, and in all past shutdowns payments continued to be made for Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and SNAP. Why this shutdown is halting SNAP payments is a major political controversy: the Trump administration claims they have no choice other than to halt SNAP, but 25 states, including RI, sued claiming it is illegal to do so. The case is Commonwealth of Massachusetts, et al. v. United States Department of Agriculture, 1:25-cv-13165, filed in federal district court in Massachusetts. According to the complaint:

    • For decades, low-income Americans have relied on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) to put food on the table.
    • Across various previous federal government shutdowns, SNAP benefits have never been interrupted by a lapse in appropriations.
    • Until now: earlier this month, Defendant U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) suspended SNAP benefits for November.
    • Because of USDA’s actions, SNAP benefits will be delayed for the first time since the program’s inception.
    • Worse still, USDA suspended SNAP benefits even though, on information and belief, it has funds available to it that are sufficient to fund all, or at least a substantial portion, of November SNAP benefits.
    • Suspending SNAP benefits in these circumstances is both contrary to law and arbitrary and capricious under the Administrative Procedure Act.
    • USDA’s suspension of SNAP benefits is irreparably harming Plaintiff States — a harm that increases every day SNAP benefits are delayed.

    “President Trump’s failure to act is cruel and unacceptable,” said McKee in a statement. “I’m continuing to call on the President to use all available options to cover November benefits. But make no mistake, Rhode Island will not stand by and allow families to go hungry. We’re taking decisive action to protect food access wherever possible and strengthen our local food banks.”

    “When the President and his Administration blame lapsing SNAP benefits on the government shutdown, they are lying to you,” said Attorney General Peter Neronha in a statement. “The USDA has billions in contingency funds for this express purpose – so that Americans don’t go hungry waiting for their federal government to get its act together. Forty-two million Americans rely on SNAP to feed themselves and their families, including nearly 150,000 Rhode Islanders, for whom this is potentially a life-threatening situation. So, as the President prioritizes golden ballrooms over access to food, we will continue to fight on behalf of all Americans.”

    Neronha’s office further said, “USDA has funded other programs with emergency funds during this shutdown, but has refused to fund SNAP, leaving millions of Americans without the assistance they need to buy food. It is clear the federal government is making a deliberate, illegal, and inhumane choice not to fund this crucial program. The lapse in benefits will have dire consequences for the health and well-being of millions across the country, who rely on the program to feed themselves and their families. This lapse will also put unnecessary strain on state and local governments and community organizations, as families increasingly rely on emergency services and local food pantries that are already struggling to fill a growing nutrition gap.”

    The governor’s office also collected statements from government and community leaders contributing to emergency relief efforts, including Lt. Gov. Sabina Matos; Bob DaSilva, mayor of East Providence and president of the RI League of Cities and Towns; David N. Cicilline, president and CEO of the Rhode Island Foundation; Patrick Crowley, president of the RI AFL-CIO; Melissa Cherney, RI Community Food Bank CEO; Cortney Nicolato, president and CEO, United Way of RI; and Kimberly Merolla-Brito, director of the RI Department of Human Services.

  • Skating on ICE with Technology: Is Immigration and Customs Enforcement coming for your smartphone?

    US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has been increasingly scary and threatening under the Trump administration.

    A few days ago, armed and masked agents converged on a Chicago apartment house, some even rappelling onto the roof from military helicopters. They forced men, women, and children outside, even naked, restraining them with zip-tie handcuffs. Most of those detained in vans, including children separated from their parents, were US citizens.

    Widespread fear has motivated a number of technological solutions, including the ICEBlock app that allows users to crowdsource reports of ICE activity in their area. Pam Bondi, US attorney general, said in a statement first reported by Fox Business that Apple, at her request, had removed ICEBlock and similar apps from the app store, making it difficult to install for iPhone users.

    “We reached out to Apple today demanding they remove the ICEBlock app from their App Store — and Apple did so,” Fox News quoted Bondi as saying. “ICEBlock is designed to put ICE agents at risk just for doing their jobs, and violence against law enforcement is an intolerable red line that cannot be crossed.”

    “We created the App Store to be a safe and trusted place to discover apps. Based on information we’ve received from law enforcement about the safety risks associated with ICEBlock, we have removed it and similar apps from the App Store,” Apple said in a statement quoted by the AP.

    Kristi Noem, secretary of Homeland Security which oversees ICE, in July threatened to hold CNN criminally liable merely for reporting on ICEBlock, according to Politico: “We’re working with the Department of Justice to see if we can prosecute them for that, because what they’re doing is actively encouraging people to avoid law enforcement activities, operations and we’re going to actually go after them and prosecute them.”

    “This is an app that is publicly available to any iPhone user who wants to download it. There is nothing illegal about reporting the existence of this or any other app, nor does such reporting constitute promotion or other endorsement of the app by CNN,” a statement from the network read.

    Reporting ICE activity, let alone reporting on ways to do it, seems clearly protected by First Amendment guarantees of freedom of speech and press.

    ICEBlock has been extensively criticized as untrustworthy from a security perspective, relying on Apple infrastructure to keep track of users and their locations for notification purposes.

    Independent researcher Micah Flee called ICEBlock “activism theater” because the developer “makes strong claims about the security and privacy of his app without backing any of them up with technical details. Many of his claims are false. He also chose to target only iOS, and not Android, because of a misunderstanding about how Android push notifications work. And even worse, during the Q&A, he made it clear that he didn’t understand terms like ‘warrant canary,’ ‘reverse engineering,’ or ‘security through obscurity,’ which doesn’t inspire confidence.”

    “ICEBlock [makes] incredibly false privacy claims for marketing. They falsely claim it provides complete anonymity when it doesn’t. They’re ignoring both data kept by Apple and data available to the server but not stored. They’re also spreading misinformation about Android,” wrote the official BlueSky account of GrapheneOS, which is the gold standard for security-conscious implementations of Android but runs only on certain recent models of Google Pixel hardware and isolates Google apps to a protected “sandbox.”

    To address such problems, a number of web-only systems (that is, not using a dedicated installable app) have been made available, including ICE Watch (icewatchers.info) and ICE Tea (icetea.peoplesrebellion.org), the latter splitting “dispatch” (reporting) and “watch” (monitoring) to solve both privacy and false-positive concerns. ICE Tea makes its pitch for this approach: “Why It Matters: No app store needed – install instantly; Offline-capable (for Watch + cached UI); Looks and acts like a native app; More discreet for urgent situations.”

    Even “dumb” cellular telephones necessarily reveal significant private information about their users, especially location. For many years, to assist 911 callers the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has required all new cellular devices in the US to be able to compute and report their location based on GPS signals. Soon, cellular networks must be able to use such automatically transmitted location information to route 911 calls to the appropriate dispatch center. Even the oldest and simplest cellular devices must be constantly located by the network in order to perform the most basic tasks such as incoming calls ringing.

    If someone is worried about running afoul of the law by reporting ICE activity, probably their best bet would be a pre-paid “burner phone,” a cheap and disposable cellular device that would be difficult to trace to its user. Even then, there are no guarantees.

    [And yes, Ms. Noem, if you’d like to come after us for reporting on this, bring it on! – Ed.]

    If you’re interested in helping track suspected ICE activity, RI has its own hotline and network, which is independent of any of the apps mentioned above. You can call them at 401-675-1414 or learn more at Alliance to Mobilize Our Resistance (amorri.org).

  • Fact Check — Interpreting Kirk’s shooter: Was Charlie Kirk Murdered for the Lulz? Media misses dark nihilism of on-line culture

    Fact Check — Interpreting Kirk’s shooter: Was Charlie Kirk Murdered for the Lulz? Media misses dark nihilism of on-line culture

    Political violence is a bad thing from any perspective, but there is a long tradition of it. In the classic 1970 collection of over one hundred primary source documents American Violence, the earliest account is Pilgrims versus Puritans from 1634 and the most recent, two years before the book was published, are the Chicago Riots and the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy in 1968.

    The murder of Charlie Kirk at age 31 tragically impacts his wife and two young children, but aside from the substantial moral issues, the practical problem of political violence is that it threatens to destabilize the nation and undermine the rule of law: Either we settle our disputes through the political process or we degenerate to some degree of civil warfare.

    It is disturbing that numerous opposing parties have attempted to seize the narrative to retrofit the killing into their worldviews, damn the facts. President Donald Trump said he would posthumously bestow on Kirk the nation’s highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom: “Charlie was a giant of his generation, a champion of liberty and an inspiration to millions and millions of people.”

    Kirk himself defined his identity with the organization he founded, Turning Point USA, as a provocateur whose shtick was to say outrageous things intended to seek attention and piss people off, such as “I can’t stand the word empathy, actually. I think empathy is a made-up, new age term,” “Jewish donors have been the No. 1 funding mechanism of radical open-border, neoliberal, quasi-Marxist policies, cultural institutions and nonprofits… And it’s not just the colleges. It’s the nonprofits, it’s the movies, it’s Hollywood, it’s all of it.” suggesting that a “patriot” should post bail for the man charged with a brutal hammer attack against the elderly husband of US Rep. Nancy Pelosi, “We made a huge mistake when we passed the Civil Rights Act in the 1960s,” and most ironically, “I think it’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.” Kirk marketed his appearances on college campuses as “debates,” but most of the quick exchanges were as devoid of real content as “You’re wrong!” and “Says you!”

    Not to push the analogy too far since Kirk was hardly a Nazi, but his rehabilitation from millennial troll to presidential honoree is as awkward as that of Horst Wessel, a member of the paramilitary Brown Shirts turned into a Nazi hero and martyr, after being killed in 1930 by a communist in what seems to have been a landlord-tenant dispute involving Wessel’s ex-prostitute girlfriend.

    Soon after Kirk’s shooting, police detained 71 year-old George Zinn, who reportedly confessed to the killing, but was soon released because he was notorious for decades of apparent mental illness and being arrested at events both political and otherwise.

    Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill was quoted saying, ”He’s a person who can be odd, and has those kinds of sometimes odd behavior challenges, but by and large, he’s more of a gadfly than anything else.” FBI Director Kash Patel posted on Twitter/X “The subject for the horrific shooting today that took the life of Charlie Kirk is now in custody,” but less than two hours later had to retract that, posting “The subject in custody has been released after an interrogation by law enforcement.”

    This was, it turned out, the first huge warning sign that the FBI had no idea what they were doing. Eventually, 22 year-old Tyler Robinson, the alleged killer, was reportedly talked into voluntarily surrendering to authorities by his father and his pastor who wanted to avoid an incident such as a suicidal shootout with police. Conservative satire site Babylon Bee ridiculed this under the headline, “‘Ladies And Gentlemen, We Got Him,’ Announces FBI After Killer Turns Himself In.”

    One of the strangest aspects was watching Utah Gov. Spencer Cox reading aloud, apparently with no understanding of what he was saying, internet memes written on the cartridge casings recovered by police from the shooting scene:

    Investigators noted inscriptions that had been engraved on casings found with the rifle. Inscriptions on a fired casing read: “notices bulges” capital “O-W-O what’s this?” Inscriptions on the three unfired casings read: “hey fascist!” “catch!” Up arrow symbol, right arrow symbol, and three down arrow symbols. A second unfired casing read: “Oh Bella Ciao, Bella Ciao, Bella Ciao, Ciao, Ciao.” And a third unfired case read: “If you read this, you are gay LMAO.”

    A telling indicator of how out of touch the media was on this is the way they transcribed what should have been “OwO”, an internet emoticon intended to convey surprised open eyes as a variant of “UwU” that is simply a cute face, originally using carets “^w^” – but the “w” is never capitalized. Associated with the “furry” subculture of people who pretend to be and often dress up in costume as non-human animals, this cutesy emoticon is at least 25 years old, long before the alleged shooter was even born, when it was necessary to draw small pieces of artwork using text characters because that was all users had back then. One of the last places I ever expected to see this sort of thing is a cartridge casing, but it is hardly new: In the 1980s, a Datamation article said in every mainframe computer shop “taped to the wall is a line-printer Snoopy calendar for the year 1969.”

    An early use of the emoticon “OwO” in a text chat between two “furries,” circa 2001.

    The Wall Street Journal cited an internet law-enforcement bulletin asserting that the markings on the cartridge casings were “transgender and anti-fascist ideology,” but had to retract this when it proved untrue. Among other wrong claims, the headstamp “TRN” had nothing to do with ‘transgender” but is actually a manufacturer mark from Turan Ammo, a company in Türkiye.

    According to Kahlil Greene, in the game Helldivers II, “Hey fascist! Catch! ↑ → ↓↓↓” is “a ‘stratagem’ code that players enter to call down an Eagle 500kg Bomb, one of the most destructive weapons available. The game is known for its satirical use of totalitarian aesthetics to critique militarism and the glorification of war, with players fighting against an ‘intentionally oppressive’ government.”

    “Bella Ciao” is a century-old protest song, recently popularized in the 2019 – 2021 Netflix series Money Heist, originally the Spanish-language La casa de papel (“The House of Paper”). Consistent with the alleged shooter’s interest in video games, it features prominently in Far Cry 6.

    Much of this symbolism has been adopted ironically by the Groyper army, a group so far-right that they object to Kirk as too left-wing. Because an inherent part of the loosely organized “Groyper” movement is to exploit leftist terms and symbols to encourage ambiguity as to their motives, media deception is part of their goal.

    “The Groypers’ focus on Turning Point USA stems primarily from their dislike of founder Charlie Kirk, who they consider insufficiently pro-white,” explained the ADL. “Kirk is pro-Israel, and Groypers oppose Israel and are generally antisemitic. Groypers are also angry that Kirk has invited black conservatives and gay conservatives to TPUSA events as speakers. They believe Kirk is a hypocrite who doesn’t truly want to advance an ‘America First,’ agenda which, for the Groypers, means ‘whites first.’”

    Recognized as the leader of the Groyper army, Nick Fuentes, despite a long history encouraging a strategy of confrontation and disruption, issued increasingly panicked denials of involvement in the killing: “My followers and I are currently being framed for the murder of Charlie Kirk by the mainstream media based on literally zero evidence.”

    On Meet the Press, Gov. Cox referenced reporting about the roommate of the alleged shooter, “We do know that the roommate that we had originally talked about, we can confirm that that roommate is a boyfriend who is transitioning from male to female. So we know that piece. I will say that that person has been very cooperative with authorities.”

    Various sources state the roommate uses the name “Lance,” and despite claims by the roommate that incriminating messages were sent by the alleged shooter over Discord, the platform denied this in a statement: “The messages referenced in recent reporting about planning details do not appear to be Discord messages. These were communications between the suspect’s roommate and a friend after the shooting, where the roommate was recounting the contents of a note the suspect had left elsewhere.”

    The credibility of Lance has been called into serious question because of the Discord messages. The media conclusion Lance is transgender appears to be entirely on the basis of gamer tags rather than a personal declaration, and there is no evidence of a romantic relationship with the alleged shooter. The living situation has been reported to be a three-bedroom apartment or condominium, with the owner living in one with at least one roommate and renting out the other two.

    Numerous sources reported that the alleged shooter has undergone recent personality changes and become politically radicalized, after a straight-A high school academic record that earned him a four-year college scholarship, from which he dropped out after a single semester. He grew up in a Mormon religious family, all of whom are reportedly MAGA adherents. Given his age at the sweet spot for onset of schizophrenia, it is impossible not to wonder about the real possibility of so-far undiagnosed mental illness. Because the state has said they intend to seek the death penalty, it is no surprise the defendant is uncooperative.

    White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, in an interview with Fox personality Sean Hannity, threatened to bring to bear the full force of the federal government against those who “celebrate” the death of Kirk, labeling them “domestic terrorists” despite such sentiments, no matter how objectionable, being unquestionably protected by the First Amendment: “And my message is to all of the domestic terrorists in this country spreading this evil hate, you want us to live in fear — we will not live in fear. But you will live in exile. Because the power of law enforcement under President Trump’s leadership will be used to find you, will use to take away your money, take away your power, and if you’ve broken the law, to take away your freedom.”

    From a journalistic perspective, the gold standard for accuracy has traditionally been assumed to be official statements from sources such as the FBI or the state governor, and the governor seems to be relying on the FBI, but this is all unraveling amidst profound cluelessness while most media uncritically report absurdly misinformed conclusions in total ignorance of internet and gaming culture. How does law enforcement cope with a mindset where the highest goal is “lulz,” meaning that everything is an appropriate target for mockery and derision, regardless of cruelty or tastelessness, as long as someone is willing to point and laugh? Is this really the tinderbox that will escalate a new surge in America’s tradition of political violence?

  • Immigration Compliance: US Attorney General Threatens RI

    Immigration Compliance: US Attorney General Threatens RI

    Excerpt of letter from US AG Bondi to RI Gov. McKee and RI AG Neronha, Aug 13, 2025.

    US Attorney General Pamela Bondi sent a letter to RI Governor Daniel McKee and RI Attorney General Peter Neronha, dated Aug 13, stating “You are hereby notified that your jurisdiction has been identified as one that engages in sanctuary policies and practices that thwart federal immigration enforcement… This ends now.” The letter demanded a response by Aug 19.

    On a US Department of Justice (DOJ) web page, RI is one of 12 states plus the District of Columbia listed as “sanctuary jurisdictions,” along with a number of counties and cities, that meet one or more of nine criteria. One notable criterion is: “Limits on ICE Detainers: Cities, states, or counties that refuse to honor ICE detainer requests unless there is a warrant signed by a judge.”

    In response to our inquiry, Gov. McKee told Motif, “This generic, non-specific form letter lacks any meaningful detail and does not merit a response.”

    In response to our inquiry, AG Neronha told Motif:

    This letter does not change my view: it’s the tactic of a bully. And the only way to deal with a bully is to let them know that they’re not going to intimidate you. Rhode Island cooperates with all federal law enforcement agencies routinely, as required by federal law. Federal law does not require the state to divert important law enforcement resources to do the federal government’s civil immigration law bidding. If the Trump Administration takes issue with this, then the doors of federal court are open to them. Until that point, my focus is elsewhere.

    An immigration detainer is a formal notice to local law enforcement (typically in RI, sent to the state prison) where federal officials request that a person who is otherwise entitled to be released instead continue to be held in custody to be picked up by federal officials for deportation proceedings.

    In 2014, both the federal and state governments emphatically lost in a ruling by Judge John J. McConnell Jr of the US District Court for the District of RI, in Morales v. Chadbourne, a case brought by a plaintiff unlawfully held in the RI Adult Correctional Institution (ACI) to comply with a detainer from US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), a part of the DOJ. Guatemalan-born Ada Morales had been unlawfully subjected to immigration detainers twice, in 2004 and 2009, despite having become a naturalized US citizen in 1995 after living in the US as a lawful permanent resident since the 1980s. ICE has no authority whatsoever to issue an immigration detainer against a US citizen. She was naturalized under her maiden name, Cabrera, and her married name, Morales, by chance was recorded as an alias by a wanted person in a database.

    As the case slowly crawled toward trial, the First Circuit substantially affirmed this ruling on appeal. Judge McConnell excoriated both ICE and the state in the strongest terms, finding the state outright wrong, claiming they lacked discretion not to comply with an ICE detainer, which under the law was merely a “request,” meaning the state had its own duty to check Morales’ claim to be a US citizen. Judge McConnell also noted that ICE failed to meet the legal standard of probable cause in sending the detainer to the ACI, stating a purpose to “investigate” Morales’ immigration status; Morales argued that she was held only because of her Latin surname and her having been born in Guatemala.

    Immediately after this court ruling, then-Gov. Lincoln Chafee issued Executive Order 22691: “Agents of the Rhode Island executive branch shall not detain an individual pursuant to an ICE Detainer… unless ICE has obtained a judicial order of deportation or removal from the United States for the individual.” Regardless of this policy directly resulting from compliance with embarrassing adverse rulings in federal court, it precisely triggers one of the criteria for being a “sanctuary jurisdiction” as now defined by the US Department of Justice.

    In response to our inquiry, Steven Brown, executive director of the RI chapter of the American Civil Liberties Uunion, told Motif:

    We believe that the DOJ letter is a frivolous attempt to intimidate jurisdictions that refuse to march in step with the Trump Administration’s incredibly cruel, and often illegal, attacks on immigrant communities throughout the country. Their incredibly broad definition of “sanctuary jurisdictions” – which includes places that “prohibit local funds or resources from being used to support federal immigration enforcement efforts” – borders on the absurd.

    Brown noted that the ACLU issued a news release about the case in 2017 – https://www.riaclu.org/en/news/aclu-settles-lawsuit-behalf-us-citizen-unlawfully-detained-aci-deportable-alien – which states “…since Morales sued the agency, ICE has acknowledged that compliance with these ‘hold’ requests is purely voluntary.”

    The DOJ did not reply to an invitation from Motif to comment.

    (Disclosure: As was Morales, Motif reporter Michael Bilow is currently represented by the ACLU in an unrelated public records case, Bilow v. Brown University.)

  • Satire — Secret New “Ninja” Stealth Bomber: To be publicly revealed at Trump birthday parade

    Satire — Secret New “Ninja” Stealth Bomber: To be publicly revealed at Trump birthday parade

    B-614 “Ninja” stealth bomber (Source: Wikimedia Commons, public domain)

    The United States Air Force announced that the latest addition to their arsenal, the B-614 stealth bomber, nicknamed the “Ninja,” will make its first public appearance in a flyover on Saturday, Jun 14, at the Washington DC military parade that coincides with the birthday of President Donald J. Trump.

    “The Ninja is the next generation of stealth technology, going beyond invisibility to radar but also to the naked eye and ear, completely transparent and silent, using techniques pioneered at the 2016 presidential inauguration to conceal crowds,” said former Trump Press Secretary Sean Spicer, coming out of retirement for the event.

    “This is an incredible plane. It’s stealth — you can’t see it,” Trump enthused about the new invisible Ninja bomber. “I said, ‘How would it do in battle with your plane?’ They say, ‘Well we have one problem — we can’t see your plane.’ That’s a big problem. Stealth, super stealth. The best in the world. We make the best military equipment in the world.”

    Tech-bro entrepreneur Elon Musk reportedly landed the government contract to design and build the Ninja bombers at a price of $6 billion each, paid for in cryptocurrency from the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. “It’s an artful deal! Invisible bombers for invisible cash,” Musk said.

    It will be Trump’s 79th birthday. Demographers calculate that, based on population tables, he is only 26.4% likely to die before the end of his term. “We’re hoping to turn our dear leader’s birthday into an annual event,” said Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, who has been assigned a special escort to make sure he does not get drunk and wander off the parade route.

    On the ground, preparations include 18 miles of “anti-scale fencing” and 175 metal detectors for a crowd of 200,000. Military equipment that will be easier to see and hear will include 60-ton M1 Abrams battle tanks and Paladin self-propelled howitzers, expected to cause enough damage to metropolitan roads that repair and repaving will be needed. Soldiers assigned to the parade have been sleeping on floors because the Pentagon, short-staffed due to firings and layoffs, forgot to provide any accommodations. Numbers of terminated personnel were unavailable because of reductions in the workforce at the Defense Logistics Agency, which is responsible for counting them.

    Trump was reported to be gratified by the display of loyalty and support from the military on his birthday. Despite attending the New York Military Academy and playing on the basketball team, during the Vietnam War Trump received 2-S college draft deferments from age 18 in 1964 through graduation in 1968, then was reclassified 1-Y (qualified for service only in time of war or national emergency) due to bone spurs in his heels, and eventually 4-F (not qualified for military service) in 1972. The bone spurs have become MAGA folk heroes for saving Trump from the fate of “suckers” and “losers” who lost their lives while serving. The New York Times assigned a reporter and two researchers in 2018 on a substantial project to hunt down the daughters of the deceased podiatrist and his colleague who provided the medical paperwork about bone spurs, apparently as a favor to their landlord, real estate baron Fred Trump, Donald’s father.

    California Governor Gavin Newsom noted that Trump’s complete lack of military experience did not dissuade him from ordering, over the objections of the governor, 5,000 Guard troops and 700 active-duty Marines from Camp Pendleton to goosestep into Los Angeles because people were waving Mexican flags. “He’s declared a war. A war on culture, on history, on science, on knowledge itself,” Newsom said. “He’s delegitimizing news organizations, and he’s assaulting the First Amendment.”

    Karoline Leavitt, the fifth person to fill the formidable shoes of Sean Spicer as Trump’s White House press secretary, said from the podium that the illustrious military wisdom of the president foreshadowed the new Ninja bomber: “You can’t see it, you can’t hear it, but you know it’s there because we tell you.” The very same thing could be said of fake news.

  • ACLU Sues Brown Police: Update on Brown Police vs. public access

    ACLU Sues Brown Police: Update on Brown Police vs. public access

    The RI chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) today (Jun 2) sued Brown University over two separate disputes since 2022 where the university, authorized to operate its own police agency as the Brown Department of Public Safety (BDPS), refused to provide records of arrests and enforcement actions that all public police agencies are required to release under the RI Access to Public Records Act (APRA).

    The ACLU attorney filing the case in RI Superior Court is Fausto C. Anguilla, whose office is in North Kingstown.

    The named plaintiffs are Michael Bilow, who reports for Motif Magazine, and Noble Brigham, who at the time reported for the Brown Daily Herald. Acting in their personal capacities and not on behalf of their publications, both separately filed complaints against Brown University with the RI Office of the Attorney General (RIAG) who enforces open meetings and public records law. Brown claimed that, as a private non-governmental entity, BDPS was not subject to APRA. On Jan 10, 2025, RIAG ruled for Brown and against Bilow and Noble on the grounds the law requires BDPS to file copies of all relevant records with the Providence Police, and therefore would be available under APRA that way.

    Bilow explained the details of his complaint in Motif (“News Analysis — Secret Police Records, Secret Arrests, Secret Charges: Brown University police make every effort to escape public scrutiny and accountability”, Nov 12, 2024). Among other issues, police arrest records are required by law to be made public within 48 hours, but Bilow did not receive them until five months later because BDPS failed to comply with the law requiring copies be given to the public police.

    Contrary to claims by Brown University, the ACLU suit states:

    The APRA defines a “public body” or “agency” as: “any executive, legislative, judicial, or administrative body of the State, or any political subdivision thereof… or any other public or private agency, person, partnership, corporation or business entity acting on behalf of and/or in place of any public agency.” R.I. Gen. Laws §38-2-2(1)… 

    APRA thus expressly provides that a private person or entity acting in place of a public agency shall be subject to its terms.

    APRA expressly mandates that arrest reports “shall be made available” under its terms.  R.I. Gen Laws §38-2-3.2….

    In effectuating arrests, BDPS functions precisely as a public law enforcement agency within the State of Rhode Island.

    * * *

    BDPS exercises a function of government, namely the basic police power of enforcing laws and maintaining peace within its jurisdiction. BDPS police have the power to search for and confiscate property, to detain, search, and arrest people, and to carry deadly weapons.…

    By engaging in one of the most fundamental functions of government – the enforcement of criminal laws and exercising the power to search and seize individuals – BDPS is acting on behalf of and/or in place of a government agency or public body.

    The lawsuit asks “[t]hat the court issue a declaratory judgment determining that BDPS is a public body or agency within the meaning of APRA and must comply with its terms as to requests for arrest and other law enforcement records, and further declare that BDPS violated APRA when it failed to comply with Plaintiffs’ requests for arrest records.”

    In a news release from the ACLU, Anguilla said, “The purpose of this action is simple. Every city and town police department in Rhode Island must provide arrest reports under APRA. Brown’s police should not be an exception.” 

    Plaintiff Bilow said, “Experience has proven that preventing police abuses depends on full transparency under the law, and it is a civic responsibility of news reporting to keep the public aware and informed about what is done in their name. As a journalist, I am grateful for the help of the ACLU in furthering that mission.”

    Plaintiff Brigham added, “Access to police reports is a basic public right. The public should be able to understand why police have arrested someone, and Brown’s stance that its nonprofit status exempts them from the state law every municipal Rhode Island police department follows is troubling.”

    Steven Brown, executive director of the ACLU of RI, said, “It is shocking that a police department would claim that it can keep secret all of its records relating to the arrests of individuals. This lawsuit involves fundamental matters of public transparency and accountability.”

    Unless a settlement is negotiated, resolving the lawsuit could take months or even years.

    (The case is Bilow v. Brown University, PC-2025-02879, filed in Providence/Bristol County Superior Court)

  • “How Powerful Is That?”: US Naval Academy removes close to 400 books from shelves, among them Brown University authors

    “How Powerful Is That?”: US Naval Academy removes close to 400 books from shelves, among them Brown University authors

    Traditionally, higher education has been regarded as a space of intellectual freedom. The secular university is a special continuum that allows for a vacuum of art and thought, and is typically exempt from religious or ideological persecution. With our recent administration change, this truism is veiled in speculation. Under Donald Trump, the academic sphere is undergoing vast changes, and none of them promising. There is an undercurrent of fear among faculty and students that if they say the wrong thing, or are caught (currently or post-facto) protesting against human rights infractions, or against the administration as a whole, they will be scrutinized and, depending on ethnic status, even deported. It is not new news that ICE has been roaming around college campuses in an unsubtle way to threaten and instill fear in students enacting their right to free speech.

    As this particularly frightening political climate escalates it is not just one aspect of our First Amendment that is threatened, but many. There is a war being waged on what we read, which again, is nothing new, but as we inevitably become accustomed to our conditions, we can forget how these slow and precise actions contribute to a much larger disease; when the leader of a democratic society reverts to censorship in order to adhere to a certain narrative that silences any opposition, they have irrevocably severed the ties of democracy and are steadfast towards autocracy.

    Jeanette Bradley is part of the national organization, Authors Against Book Bans (AABB) which, since August, has had a chapter in RI. Bradley says, “The organization is very new, and something I am really passionate and care deeply about. It’s important for kids to have high-quality literature and high-quality representation.” Bradley is also stewardess of The Rhode Island Freedom to Read Act, a bill that is awaiting vote in congress. The bill was created in response to the uptick in book banning, as a statistic in the bill highlights: “Nationwide, documented book challenges have increased over 675% since 2020. (American Library Association).” Bradley says, “The RI Freedom to Read Act protects librarians and their work, and is protecting our freedom of speech rights to write and publish.”

    Since Trump’s Jan. 29th executive order to ban diversity, equity, and inclusion materials in grades kindergarten through 12, children’s books have solely been targeted, but in early April, as stated in The Boston Globe, “Defense Secretary Pete Hegesth’s office told the Naval Academy to apply that order to the school even though it is a college.”

    Bradley relates, “Up until this point, for the last 5 years, these book bans have been under the guise of protecting children. This is the argument they are making. There’s no children attending the Naval Academy; this is a very different type of censorship.”

    Following the order the Nimitz Library in the Academy removed 381 books from its shelves, including work from four Brown University professors. The books from Brown academics were Fairy Tales, Sexuality, and Gender in France 1690-1715 by Lewis C.Seifert, Impressionist Subjects: Gender, Interiority, and Modernist Fiction in England, by Tamar Katz, Cook County: Racism and Injustice in America’s Largest Criminal Court by Nicole Gonzalez VanCleve, and The Myth of the Model Minority: Asian Americans Facing Racism by Rosalind S. Chou and Joe R. Feagin.

    Upon closer inspection of these titles, and various others that were pulled, it seems strange that they were removed. What threat does a scholarly work about gender and sexuality in 17th century France pose to current US Naval Academy students? Or modernist fiction in Impressionist England? Tamar Katz, author of the latter, comments, “I think they did an AI search on anything that has to do with race or gender, that’s the only reason I can think of. But my book is about gender in a very specific subsection of experiential literature. This is the kind of haphazardness that we have come to expect from recent activities, which is just to say the current administration is doing a slip-shod job.”

    Bradley also believes it was an AI job, and because of that it deprives the US Naval Academy of essential reading. She read the whole list of books banned and found the results surprising and ironic. For example, one of them was on the needs for diverse children’s book literature, another was about leadership and management skills, and one on gender and culture in Afghanistan. Bradly says, “I want people who are training to be in our US Navy to read these books! These are important topics.”

    Katz agrees, “What’s being done is not done in good faith so they can be as sloppy as they like.” The books being censored are not carefully examined and read by a committee, and then determined ineligible or eligible; they are being spat through a robotic, uncritical system and pulled for tag words, much like running a simple Google engine search. That is a very lackadaisical way to treat something as important as our freedom of press.

    Nicole Gonzalez VanCleve, author of the book on Cook County, finds it alarming that the administration is targeting academic spheres. She says, “It feels like we’ve entered a new era where the current administration is labeling ideas as dangerous. It is really a threat to the free speech rights of students and adults everywhere.” VanCleve also agrees that it seems like the ban was spurred by an AI search engine, but her book, because it is on the social study of racism and abuse in America’s largest criminal courts, can find eerie parallels in today’s system of internal corruption. She believes that “one of the most alarming things exposed is that many of the books that were banned revolve around abuses of power, and how those prejudices can be weaponized to create harm in a society. We haven’t seen books on this list that concern white supremacy. For example, Hitler’s Mein Kampf was not banned. We can only deduce that this administration sees those kinds of books as acceptable. I believe we should be having a moral discussion about this; what does it say that we are allowing hateful texts and disallowing books that show how prejudices can harm? That, in some ways, is more revealing; take notice of the danger in that.”

    Bradley, Katz, and VanCleve all share similar concerns about the future and freedom of our academic spaces. Katz says she is “enormously worried about the future of free speech in general. Academic freedom has entered the spotlight in particular because it is a place where the government has obvious financial leverage.” The government, if a university does not adhere to their rules, can cut funding for medical or other research projects. Katz believes this is a big threat, and she is worried. “They are going to do more of it. But we are still at a point where institutions, as well as individuals, can push back and say no.” She is impressed by her students and hopeful that the skills they are taught in her class will help them thoughtfully react to situations in productive ways, rather than just exhibiting a knee-jerk reaction. “What I love about literature and teaching literature is that when you actually pay attention to what a particular novel is saying, you wind up with conclusions much more nuanced. I have felt the classroom is a really encouraging space for that kind of self-discovery.”

    VanCleve shares a story that happened to her while she was teaching: “I was teaching a class on mass incarceration in America. My students have read numerous books, and they have also read my book. When I told them my book was banned they were silent, and then broke into applause. This to me speaks of a new generation that is unafraid and angry at what they’re seeing in this political climate. They are applauding the idea that thinkers can create ideas so bold that they can be seen as dangerous.”

    Both Maya Angelo and Toni Morrison are names on the list. VanCleve sums up this experience with a quote from Toni Morrison on a letter the famous writer had framed above her toilet: “I have a little framed document in my bathroom, a letter from, I think Texas Bureau of Corrections, saying that Paradise was banned from the prison because it might incite a riot. And I thought, how powerful is that? I could tear up the whole place!” •

    Photo: Authors Against Book Bans gathering at the State House. By Mike Ryan

  • A Tale of Two Landmarks: When Newport money meets Providence’s comfort food classics

    A Tale of Two Landmarks: When Newport money meets Providence’s comfort food classics

    Hot wieners are meeting cold cash as Newport’s Audrain Food Group gobbles up another slice of Providence’s comfort food pie. In their latest culinary conquest, they’ve snagged the legendary Olneyville New York System – home of Rhode Island’s famed “all the way” wieners – adding it to a portfolio that already includes the pink-walled former Italian paradise known as The Old Canteen.

    When Humble Meets Haute

    Picture this: It’s 2am, you’re sporting a slight buzz, and nothing — absolutely nothing — will satisfy your soul like an Olneyville hot wiener “all the way” (that’s mustard, meat sauce, onions, and celery salt, for the uninitiated). Since 1946, this temple of late-night indulgence has been serving up these snappy little treasures on steamed buns, becoming so quintessentially Rhode Island that the James Beard Foundation crowned it an “American Classic” in 2014. Not bad for a joint where your meal is prepared on someone’s arm, rather than on a plate. Flip the script to The Old Canteen, where those same Rhode Islanders might head when it’s time to pop the question or celebrate Nonna’s 90th. Since 1956, this Federal Hill institution has been serving up plates of veal parm under bubblegum-pink walls that would make Wes Anderson swoon. It’s where generations of families have twirled pasta, clinked glasses, and loosened belts after one-too many garlic rolls.

    When Yacht Club Meets Hot Wiener Club

    The Audrain Food Group — whose Newport roots scream “yacht club” more than “wiener joint” — has been collecting Rhode Island food institutions like some people collect fancy watches. While they’re not exactly broadcasting what they paid for these culinary treasures, one thing’s clear: They’ve got a taste for places with history deeper than a Federal Hill pasta sauce. This north-south romance raises some saucy questions. Newport’s dining scene increasingly caters to folks who don’t blink at $28 cocktails, while Providence spots like Olneyville and The Old Canteen have always been places where regular Rhodies could fill their bellies without emptying their wallets. It’s like watching a Lamborghini pull up to a family cookout — intriguing, but everyone’s wondering if the driver knows how to flip a burger.

    Same Sauce or New Recipe?

    The million-dollar question (perhaps literally) hanging over Providence like the scent of simmering sauce: Will our beloved food landmarks keep their authentic flavor, or are we witnessing a culinary makeover show nobody asked for? Audrain might be plotting to transform The Old Canteen into another location of their Newport concept, Wally’s Wieners — a jarring pivot from white-tablecloth Italian dining to hot dogs with an upstairs speak-easy-style cocktail lounge. Will the iconic pink walls that have framed countless anniversary dinners and first dates remain? Will they become a backdrop for late-night wiener enthusiasts balancing craft cocktails and condiments? The thought of replacing tableside Caesar salads and wine service with paper-wrapped wieners and trendy mixology has many Federal Hill regulars clutching their napkins in dismay. And here’s where the plot thickens like a properly reduced sauce: If Audrain was planning to replicate their successful Newport Wally’s concept at The Old Canteen location, why then acquire Olneyville NY System — the undisputed crown jewel of Rhode Island wiener joints? It raises tantalizing questions about their strategy. Are they collecting the entire Rhode Island food experience like culinary Pokémon? Do they have plans to create some sort of wiener empire across the Ocean State? “Gotta eat ’em all” seems to be their motto. These aren’t idle questions for Rhode Islanders who measure life milestones by meals at these institutions.

    Community Perspectives

    Chef Frank Terranova, a Certified Executive Chef who’s been part of Rhode Island’s culinary scene for decades, shares some concerns about Audrain’s seemingly contradictory acquisition strategy. “I have never been to Wally’s but have seen them in Newport where the makeup of guests are usually visitors looking for a quick economical bite,” notes Terranova. The potential transformation of The Old Canteen particularly raises eyebrows for many, Chef Terranova points out the dramatic shift in dining experience. “Mostly people who want to go to an Italian Restaurant are looking forward to a relaxing evening, casually dressed, having a nice cocktail or a bottle of wine,” Terranova explains. “Parking there is a premium for all restaurants, and they utilize valet parking. I saw the price point in Newport, but everyone walks not valets” This practical observation cuts to the heart of the cultural clash that might emerge. The Old Canteen’s more fine dining experience, complete with valet parking and leisurely wine service — seems fundamentally at odds with the quickservice model of a wiener joint, regardless of how upscale cocktails might be.

    Final Course: What’s Next on the Menu?

    As Audrain folds these Providence classics into its growing culinary collection, Rhode Islanders are watching with the intense focus of someone waiting for their name to be called at a crowded brunch spot. The burning question simmering in everyone’s mind: Can Newport polish preserve Providence authenticity? Will hot wieners still be served all the way? Why buy NY systems if they planned on turning Old Canteen into Wally’s Wieners? Or will we see a wiener battle between two beloved once-werelandmarks now owned by the same restaurant group? Only time — and taste buds — will tell if this marriage of Newport refinement and Providence comfort food creates a delicious new Rhode Island recipe or leaves a bitter taste in locals’ mouths. •

    Check out Hamman’s “Rhode to Good Food.” startup with a collection of products that celebrate Rhode Island’s unique culinary heritage, no matter who owns the landmarks.\

    Photo by Courtney Hamman

  • Breaking News!: Local and National news coverage

    Breaking News!: Local and National news coverage

    Mitch McConnell’s Face Found Between Two Women’s Breasts at Motif Music Awards

    Senator Mitch McConnell from Kentucky, on his 83rd birthday this February, announced that he will not be running for re-election next year. He decided to celebrate his freedom from the GOP by attending the Motif Music Awards in PVD. Event planner, Tess Lyons, is quoted as saying, “I only found out Mitch was attending because his PR was requesting bottle service. I told them, ‘Hey man, we’re a free paper, you think we can afford bottle service?’ And then Mitch grabbed the phone and started muttering something about 2016 and ‘filling the seat’ with someone who can get him champagne.” We didn’t think he was going to make it after that strange encounter, but turns out he’s pretty good at playing sides! After numerous drinks, we found McConnell during intermission, in the corner bar, with his face between the breasts of two unidentified women. After a talk with one of the women, she told our sources, “What? He’s one of the only Republicans openly voting against Trump!” Get it, girl. In a brief statement from McConnell as he came up for air, we captured a sweet, but breathless, “YOLO!” •

    Behind the barricade: Brown Medical School shores up support for MDs

    The national administration has decided to help Rhode Island with its painful shortage of physicians, by … deporting some. In a not-so-astounding case of meanness over mindfulness, Dr. Rasha Alawieh, a kidney transplant specialist at Brown Health, was refused entry to the US and, as of this writing, was on a plane back to Lebanon. We would be pissed, but we’re afraid to damage our kidneys with fewer specialists to take care of them now. Inside sources say cardiac specialists will likely be next, as “This administration has no heart anyway.” In an attempt to protect those who specialize in saving lives, Brown Medical School has reactivated Brown’s long-standing network of sub-campus tunnels to smuggle physicians away from eager deporters. “What’s the big deal about medicine? If something hurts, a little ICE will always cure it,” said one government official in response. In related news, astronauts Butch and Suni, who were trapped on the International Space Station for nine months, have made it back to Earth. Returning to an America very different from the one they left, they first reenacted the final scene from Planet of the Apes (“You maniacs! You blew it all up!”) People Motif was going to spend a day with them to discuss gravity and their favorite snacks. Unfortunately, it was pointed out that they did not have visas in their space suits, and they are currently being deported back to space. •

    Lauren Boebert Seen Sniffing Lady Gaga’s Iconic 2010 Meat Dress at RISD Museum

    Rhode Island School of Design just scored a big one: Lady Gaga’s 2010 Meat Dress. The dress has since “Jerkified,” according to designer Franc Fernandez, and was recently bought by anonymous RISD donors. Boebert, the unseen hero of all-things-meat, couldn’t resist making a trip to see the infamous dress. As she rode in the passenger side of a tractor-trailer, barreling through the Midwest, our sources followed her to a rest stop, “I hitchhike so I can get a better sense of the people and the land. That’s the only way to see our beautiful country, Goddamnit!” For emphasis, she pulled a Glock out of her holster and began shooting blanks into the sky. We had to reassure her that she wasn’t in Washington DC before she settled down and put the gun away. Needless to say, she had to hitch another ride. Boebert finally arrived in RI in the back of a scarcely packed egg truck. Boerbert tells us, sandwiched between cartons, “In order to truly understand what Bidenonomics has done to eggs, I wanted to follow the journey of the egg, from chicken to store. I want people to think about the sacrifices I’ve made, and remember: ‘Lauren Boebert was in The Egg for three days.’” When we reminded her that Gaga, too, spent time in The Egg, she started waving her gun around and shouting, “I am nothing, nothing like Gaga!” Once inside, a teary-eyed Boebert leans past the sign that clearly says “Do Not Sniff,” and sniffs the hanging meat dress. It was an emotional moment for all, to which she says, “It smells like freedom. It smells like Gaga.” Motif was later informed that Beobert was inspired by this trip and plans to re-open her shuttered restaurant “Shooters Grill” in PVD, where Dusk used to be. •

    Moms of Liberty, Washington County: Where Are They Now? A Terrifying Encounter.

    Now that Trump has won, we here at Motif were curious to see what sort of trouble the Moms of Liberty could still be stirring up in lil’ Rhody. We sent our most valuable staff writer to a Moms of Liberty meet-up at a local dive bar. Our writer recounts the harrowing incident: “I thought it would be pretty easy to slip in, have a few beers, munch a few fries, and eavesdrop on their conversation. How hard could it be? Moms love happy hour. That was my first mistake. I arrived on the scene, 4pm on the dot, as any well-to-do reporter from any reputable magazine would. A group of white, WASPY, blonde and brunette women were mulling around the parking lot, looking suspicious. I slouched low in my car, put on my disguise with apt precision, and watched as they quickly loaded into a large Honda Odyssey. Nice ride, I thought, before I thought again… Wait! They are supposed to be going in for greasy sustenance, not leaving! As the Odyssey peeled out of the parking lot, I had no choice but to follow them. Good thing I brought snacks, because I was very hungry and looking forward to some good bites. Alas, duty called, and I am nothing if not a professional. I followed them through the twisting roads all the way to Charlestown Beach. I thought, what the hell are they doing here? My curiosity was insatiable. I shoved the wrapper of my last candy bar in between my seats and followed them across the sands.

    They were doing something weird, kind of like birds, walking in a straight line and not speaking. I suddenly became very aware that they would notice me, as I was trailing behind a considerable distance. I had two options: Abandon the mission, or infiltrate. Infiltrate it was. I drew in my biggest breath, and yelled out a high-pitched, ‘Heyyyy ladies! Yooohoo!’ They turned around simultaneously, their faces seeming to have transformed into large moons with yellow eyes. I was terrified. Yet I had to commit…”

    Our reporter pales at this final memory.

    “I… I don’t remember much after this. I’m in a cave, I hear the waves of the ocean beating against its walls. There are small candles all around us… we’re sitting in a circle and we’re chanting. I’m covered in essential oils… I’m naked. I’m naked and covered in essential oils. What are we chanting? ‘Liberty, once lost, is lost forever.’ Over and over. Over and over. My body is covered in red. Essential oils? No, blood. I’m covered in blood. All the moms are chanting, and smiling, smiling. There is a pile of books in the middle of us. A mom picks one up and passes it to me, her wet ’n’ wild fingernail polish glitters in the candlelight. She whispers in my ear, her tongue almost on my lobe, Burn… Burn. I look down at the cover, Rupi Kupir’s Milk and Honey? I didn’t hesitate; I brought it to the flames and watched it crumble. I can still hear their cheering, their exultations. I’ve never felt so good. I was never one for Instagram poetry anyway… Oh no, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” At this, our reporter bursts into tears. •