Introducing the CCCP (Cranston Children Communist Party) As the public schools crisis continues to grip the state, the children of Rhode Island have taken matters into their own hands. On September 2, a pre-organized underground mob of 1,500 fourth graders stormed school buildings across Rhody and declared a coup in the name of communism and […]
1. It looks like a human liver that’s been rotated 90 degrees 2. Its national anthem is impossible to pronounce (try it, go on, try saying “Nunarput Utoqqarsuanngoravit”). 3. We should really try buying Ireland instead … or maybe some hot dogs. 4. Winter is coming, and that’s gonna be a bitch. 5. There are […]
Saving People Money (So They Can Shoot Better) We’ve all been there. Coming home from a long day at work, only a couple of hours before bed, but you still need to stock up on firearms so you can shoot the shit out of the minorities, immigrants, teachers and children threatening the integrity of this […]
Mueller This Nothing happened, nothing was going to happen and why did everyone think something was going to happen? Robert Mueller is a man of his word, and as such he did not recant on any of the promises he made after releasing his infamous report; he wouldn’t comment at length, he would not be […]
Social Mold What do Facebook, Twitter and the mold under my big toe have in common? They’re all full of trolls? They have a combined IQ of 47? No, the answer is that not one of them was invited to last Thursday’s “social media” summit at the White (Supremacy) House. Hosted by KKK Trump, the […]
Divide and KKKonquer For liberals, anti-populists and anyone out there with a shred of compassion, there is only one objective in 2020; to oust the current administration and see what can be resurrected from the ashes. But if last week’s capricious Democrat debates are anything to go on, there is one objective in the leftist […]
Modern Gender Theory The Vatican announced recently that what it refers to as “modern gender theory” is, in essence, the entire problem with everything on the planet. Which is helpful, because I could have sworn that the guilty parties were Nazis, dickheads and the PawSox baseball team (traitors), rather than people with their own ideas […]
Impeachment Predictions At the time of writing, Democrats are scrambling for any modicum of evidence to suggest that Donald Trump is worthy of impeachment. While this is the summer guide and whatever we discuss here in relation to the president will be staler than a duck’s fart come August, let’s make some predictions on where the […]
There, There, It’s Gonna Be Fine Foster, Hopkinton and West Greenwich have all joined Burriville in becoming sanctuary towns for the Second Amendment. Responding to Governor Raimondo’s proposal to restrict the availability of assault weapons and, you know, monitor how close guns can get to schools, a group of concerned citizens has declared their freedom-lovin’ […]
From Russia with Love We already knew that the NRA is slightly stoopid, but this takes the (white flour, American) biscuit. It was recently revealed that a 30-year-old Russian national infiltrated the Nobrain Reprobate Association – among others – in an effort to sway American sentiment in favor of the Kremlin. Complete with heavy Russian […]