Save the Ice! (Lunchtime Quickie) Newly rebranded Dunkin, now without the Donuts, will enhance its stripped-back approach by dropping the ice from its range of iced coffees. Speaking from headquarters, Dunkin’s marketing manager, S. Presso, commented, “It’s been a success that really helps the bottom line; ice wastage is a big concern in the commercial […]
Brainwashing (and Drying) Last week, Rhode Islanders learned that the Democratic Party actively participates in the brainwashing of African-American communities. The revelation was brought to light by URI graduate and Trumpite Republican Candace Owens, who explained at a Rhode Island Young Republicans event that Democrats treat minorities “like puppies that need rescuing … they don’t […]
Don’t Be a Knob (Israel) Perpetual imperialist Israel is at it yet again. Last week, the nation’s prime minister, Benny Nuttyyahoo, announced plans to annex the West Bank should he survive the country’s upcoming election. The Anglo-Stalinist wet dream has spent the greater part of its existence tormenting their neighbors in the name of Yahweh, […]
Introducing the CCCP (Cranston Children Communist Party) As the public schools crisis continues to grip the state, the children of Rhode Island have taken matters into their own hands. On September 2, a pre-organized underground mob of 1,500 fourth graders stormed school buildings across Rhody and declared a coup in the name of communism and […]
1. It looks like a human liver that’s been rotated 90 degrees 2. Its national anthem is impossible to pronounce (try it, go on, try saying “Nunarput Utoqqarsuanngoravit”). 3. We should really try buying Ireland instead … or maybe some hot dogs. 4. Winter is coming, and that’s gonna be a bitch. 5. There are […]
Saving People Money (So They Can Shoot Better) We’ve all been there. Coming home from a long day at work, only a couple of hours before bed, but you still need to stock up on firearms so you can shoot the shit out of the minorities, immigrants, teachers and children threatening the integrity of this […]
Mueller This Nothing happened, nothing was going to happen and why did everyone think something was going to happen? Robert Mueller is a man of his word, and as such he did not recant on any of the promises he made after releasing his infamous report; he wouldn’t comment at length, he would not be […]
Social Mold What do Facebook, Twitter and the mold under my big toe have in common? They’re all full of trolls? They have a combined IQ of 47? No, the answer is that not one of them was invited to last Thursday’s “social media” summit at the White (Supremacy) House. Hosted by KKK Trump, the […]
Divide and KKKonquer For liberals, anti-populists and anyone out there with a shred of compassion, there is only one objective in 2020; to oust the current administration and see what can be resurrected from the ashes. But if last week’s capricious Democrat debates are anything to go on, there is one objective in the leftist […]
Modern Gender Theory The Vatican announced recently that what it refers to as “modern gender theory” is, in essence, the entire problem with everything on the planet. Which is helpful, because I could have sworn that the guilty parties were Nazis, dickheads and the PawSox baseball team (traitors), rather than people with their own ideas […]